Smells like...comfort.

Bigger Boy in our bed when he was wee

For some reason, one of my favorite smells is my children's hair.  I love to cuddle and snuggle them and I always need to kiss and sniff their hair.  Not sure why, but it is the best smell in the world and provides a sense of closeness and comfort that is unparalleled.  Lucky for me, the boys are still small enough to want to cuddle with their Mom.  This morning the littlest boy joined me at 5:45am followed shortly thereafter by my bigger boy at 6am.  I got lots of cuddles and kisses, there warm little bodies curled up beside me, bare toes and soft hair, sleepy eyes and fresh ideas spilling out of them.

This is heaven and comfort and bliss even if it happens at the crack of dawn!
Their heavenly scent got me in the mood for more comforting smells and as this morning started a little early it gave me a chance to make Banana Bread!

With fresh coffee brewing and banana bread baking it was a good morning in our kitchen for comfort smells today.  I use my Mom's Banana Bread recipe, don't mess with perfection I say.  Give it a whirl, the smell alone will have you relaxing in no time. 

Happy Cooking!

Banana Bread

2 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar

3 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

combine with
3/4 cup milk
1/4 c oil
1 egg

3-4 ripe mashed bananas

Pour in greased loaf pan
Bake 350 for 50-60 minutes, use toothpick to test centre for dineness

My Not-So-Much a Show Home Living Room

The Pirate Ship

This morning the boys were up at at 'em at 6am, as per usual.  Somebody really needs to explain sleeping in to these children.  For the love of God, we're tired people!
Anyway, Lovely Husband and I are sitting in the dining room with our morning coffee because we have been kicked out of the living room or as it is at the moment, the pirate ship for just 2.  This means of course my furniture has been re-arranged, a job made easier by the fact that the carpet is no longer there as it had a vomit encounter of the worst kind last week and Lovely Husband and I looked at the massive chunky pile of barf and decided to call it a loss, nobody was going to volunteer for that job.
For about 15 minutes they played nicely together, now there is screaming and hitting and whining but for those few moments of play and imagination I was willing to forgo the state of my living room, after all it's not like it looks much better without the pirate ship.
Have a great weekend everyone!

J.

A Martyr for Chocolate Chip Cookies

Last night at 10:30pm, and 11:30pm, and 1am, and 3am, and 5am, I could be found having some quality time in my bathroom.  The next victim in our house of a long drawn out gastro bug that's been hanging around our house for a week and a half now.  Usually on Fridays my mother-in-law watches our boys but she is away this week so although I'm not at work today there is no calling in sick for Mom's.
After dragging my sorry self out of bed it was business as usual.  Littlest boy and I dropped Owen at kindergarden where I made an even more spectacular sight than usual in the school yard.  Hey, at least I showered.
On the way home Ian asked for cookies. 
"Sorry kid, we don't have any." I replied
"You can make me some Mommy!  Wiff chocy chpis!" he enthused.
When we got home he promptly ran into the kitchen and pushed his chair up to the counter.
"I'm a little too tired and sick to make cookies Ian, how about crackers?" I said hoping to sell him on some goldfish.
"I can help you Mommy! I help!" he grinned at me.

And so, we baked cookies. And it was fun, and now the house smells yummy and my boy had his cookies wiff chocy chips.

Jen's Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

In a large bowl (if you have a stand mixer use it), combine:
1 cup softened butter
1 cup brown sugar
(cream together)
add 2 eggs, mix in one at a time.
Once eggs are blended in add
1 Tbsp. corn syrup
1 tsp. Vanilla
Mix in
2 1/2 Cups of flour, with
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
I usually turn on mixer on low, add 1 cup flour slowly then the baking soda and salt, then add remaining 1and 1/2 Cups flour slowly.
By hand stir in 1 bag of chocolate chips.
My oven runs pretty hot, I bake these at 350 for 10.5 minutes.  Know thy oven, don't overbake!

Good ol' British Comfort Food.

It's a bit of a snow day here in Ottawa today, and this automatically gets my "comfort food" cravings going.  However, today is a work day so not a lot of time to cook...what to do?  Rely on good old fashioned British comfort food of course!  Beans on toast with eggs and bangers.  Not pretty, but warm and comforting and easy to throw together after work.  When I was little my Mom would served brown beans with toast and eggs.  She says that she grew up eating this as well which makes sense as my Grandfather's parents were from England.  We started chatting about this meal and how I was going to serve sausages with my dinner.  Mom says: "Oh, I really love those little breakfast sausages, you should try them with maple syrup poured on them, they're so good"
To which I replied: "Mom, everything is good with Maple syrup on it...do you think this has something to do with why I'm fat?"
Maybe Canadian maple syrup can bring about world peace because it's just that good! 
Anyway, for great sausages I highly recommend the following method:
 First you boil sausages for 5 minutes.
next brown them for 5 minutes in a nice, heavy cast iron skillet.

Lastly, pop them in a 350 degree oven for about 10 minutes to cook through.  The benefit to this method is you get the sizzling pan off the stovetop and they stay nice and moist from cooking in the oven a bit.  The boiling for 5 minutes ensures they cook through without drying out.
We poached some eggs, heated up a tin of baked brown beans, toasted some english muffins, threw the sausages on the plate and Bob's your uncle! A nice comfort meal in about 30 minutes.
To top it all off, I've convinced Lovely husband to do the dishes so as I type he washes. Perfect.

Happy Cooking!
J.

Too much sunshine?

Me as a baby when the dramatics began...

As I've been exploring the little world of Bloggers I've come to the conclusion that there are too many sunshiny, crafty and all around perfect Blogger Mommies out there.  These Blogs are full of beautiful craft projects and perfect baking and stunningly beautiful "show home" houses.  On top of which, the photos of these Mom's all seem to be skinny, gorgeous, well put together women, smiling out from their photos without a care in the world, professionally taken photos nonetheless.  The Blogs are sunshiny and happy and annoying!  Who the hell has the time to look that good, have a perfectly organized and clean house, craft, bake and be all ...sunshiny? 

Most days I look like I got dragged through a bush backwards.  If you wear socks in my house you inevitably get a piece of something sticky stuck to the bottom of your sock.  I trip over toys constantly, swear, and keep right on going so the toy remains in position for the next tripping opportunity. 
However, I am happy, my kids are loved and happy but organized and crafty too??...nope, never gonna happen.  Neither is skinny so I might as well get over it.  I'm all about the reality of working, parenting, being a wife, being a maid in my own home, living with anxiety and the bloody laundry that never ends! 

Most women I meet are in the same boat but so few are reluctant to admit it initially. I love the real women I've come to know in my life, they are awesome and fun and great Mom's and every bit as crazy as me...I think, either that or I'm just crazy and they're trying to be nice.  My point is simply that I don't think those Blogs are a true reflection of most peoples reality, I could be wrong but I bet those Blogger ladies get tired of trying to look perfect.  For my part, I won't bother with the deception, too many of you have been to my house!

I'm also a little perplexed by all this talk of "balance".  To me it just is another way to make women feel like they should be able to do it all without complaint or strain, all they need is "balance". WTF??  If I'm working I feel like a bad Mom, if I'm home with a sick child I feel like a bad employee, if I go out with friends I feel like I'm missing out on family time if I bail on plans with friends to spend time with family I feel like a bad friend.  I could go on and on but let's just say I generally never feel balanced.  I'm always choosing and juggling, trying to keep everyone happy, including myself, without losing my mind.  Lovely husband might tell you the mind is loooong gone but he's stuck with me.
In terms of cooking today, I opted for what my mother-in-law calls the working mother's best friend: The Crock Pot.  One hunk of beef, some potatoes, some carrots and a package of Club House "pot roast" powder (thank-you Lisa!). I can't wait to get home and smell a yummy dinner cooking away on it's own!  That's my "balance" for today.
J.

French Onion Soup is goooood.

Last weekend I decided to make French Onion Soup a la Julia Child.  The secret to this divine soup is the cooking method of the onions and the right cheese of course.  It's a meal unto itself, very hearty indeed.  Allow yourself 2 1/2 hours to make the soup although a lot of that time the soup is simply simmering.  It also freezes really well so feel free to double the recipe.  Sorry I have no photos to share, I could have sworn I took some but now I can't find them...so either I did and lost the files or I didn't because I'm scatter brained this week...alas.  Just trust me, the soup looks delicious because it is.
Julia Child's Onion Soup
5 C yellow onions, thinly sliced (about 1-1/2 lb)
3 Tbsp. butter
1 Tbsp. oil
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp sugar
3 Tbsp flour
2 qts boiling brown stock  or canned beef bouillion (I used Campbell's beef stock)
1/2 C dry white wine or vermouth (I used Vermouth)
salt, pepper to taste
1 French baguette, cut in 3/4" thick rounds
olive oil
1 clove garlic
Good quality mozerella or brick cheese, shredded

Cook the onions slowly with the butter and oil in a heavy covered saucepan for 15 minutes. Add the salt and sugar, raise heat to moderate and cook 30 - 40 minutes, stirring frequently, until the onions have turned a deep golden brown. Sprinkle in the flour and stir 3 minutes. Remove from heat.
In a seperate pot bring the stock to a boil then pour into the onion pot. Add wine, season to taste, and simmer partially covered 30 - 40 minutes, skimming occasionally. Correct seasoning. If not served immediately, return to a simmer before serving.
Bake the bread rounds on a baking sheet in a preheated 350º oven about 30 minutes, till hard and lightly browned.
Pour soup into individual oven-proof soup bowls (this recipe can make 6), put bread on top of each and shredded cheese, place under broiler until cheese is all bubbly.

Happy Cooking!

One of those weeks...

It's how I roll baby!

Well, I've been a little absent from my Blog because it's just been one of those crappy weeks.  And yes, it was also PMS week, one can tell because Lovely husband can be found quietly tip toeing around the house for fear of setting off the beast.  Combined with a busy week at work and the usual to-ing and fro-ing of our little family there just didn't seem to be a moment to be creative and write. 
This week also resulted in a massive anxiety attack.  For those of you who don't know me well, I have a Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which is controlled for the most part, mostly by avoiding anything that makes me anxious.  However, this week I had such a pressure in my chest I was dead certain that I was in fact having a heart attack.  After humming and ha-ing and almost going to the emergency room, I took myself to the doctor.  I explained the pressure in my chest and the horrible anxiety and a host of other symptoms and that I was probably having a heart attack, going to die young and leave my children motherless!  She did not jump to her feet and call an ambulance, no, she said:
 "Those are not normal thoughts, you are having an anxiety attack"
" But it's been days!" I wailed.  "And I'm not stresssed or upset!"
"Yes" she says.
So, after a drink and an Ativan and the reassurance of having blood tests and an EKG, it seems I was not having any sort of heart attack, just a lovely anxiety attack brought on for no reason other than my screwed up chemistry.
Now, the comment she made about "normal thoughts" got me reflecting because these may not be "normal thoughts", and I can tell you they're not always fun thoughts, but they are mine nonetheless and they live in my head everyday.  These thoughts and I have to learn to live together and for the most part we rub along well enough, not always in agreement but tolerating one another.  The thing is, this time the anxiety was sneaky!  It wasn't brought on by "not normal thoughts", those thoughts followed after Mr. Anxiety creeped in and started crushing my chest.  When one has this physical pain it seems reasonable enough to me to jump to conclusions but apparently this time, the thoughts and I were wrong and just making Mr. Anxiety thrive.

Now, I should also mention that I tend to go about my daily life with my "abnormal thoughts" swirling around in my head and this makes daily tasks just a little more daunting then maybe it would be for someone who doesn't have anxiety.  I don't know because I've always been this way and it's just how I live.  Every trip in the car could be our last, everytime I leave my kids it could be the last time I EVER see them, every time I go to the grocery store I forget why I'm there and kinda panic, every time I get sick I freak out because this time, it's a terrible disease!
Lovely husband is used to me, he just smiles and nods and reassures but I awlays secretly think
 'Yes, but THIS time I'm right and we will crash the car and you'll see I was right!"
Thankfully I'm never right, but worrying continuously that one day a disaster will occur is futile because we all know that one day a disaster WILL occur.  I know in my head that this is futile but me and my thoughts just can't help ourselves. 
And so, Keep Calm and Carry On my friends.
J.